A New Chapter
by shoppinglegends
Summary: What if Brendan left with Declan back to Ireland and now he's returned so has everything changed?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : So this story is going to be about if Brendan left to go back to Ireland with Declan and it will hopefully be a long term fic except I'm so bad at saying that then never writing a second chapter :S (although I do have half of the second chapter written! yay! haha)**

**Also this is pretty out of character for Brendan anyways but ****hopefully you enjoy this and please read, review, follow, favourite the whole lot!**

**p.s. sorry this is a bit short!**

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'But what Steven?' Brendan asked. Looking up at Steven. Waiting for those words asking him to stay.

'What about Cheryl?' Steven asked.

'She's strong. She said she would be fine.' Brendan replied. 'Is that really what you wanted to say? Nothing else?'

'No...er just good luck with everything I guess.' Ste replied, shifting his weight between his two legs.

'Ok...' Brendan said, letting the moment between them fill with silence.

After a couple of moments, Brendan whispered something inaudible.

'What?' Ste said looking at him, eyes filled with hope.

'You could come...' Brendan stated, staring at the floor. Not wanting to look up and see Ste's face when he rejected him. Which he clearly would. He's with Douglas now. They're happy right?

'What?' Ste said, clearly shocked, yet a part of him had clearly been waiting for Brendan to say something along these lines.

'I can't...' Ste sighed. 'You know I can't.'

'Why?!' Brendan's immediate reaction shot out. Sighing he said in a lower voice 'I know...I just, I can't believe this could be it for us. This wasn't what I wanted, what I planned.' Brendan said frustrated.

'You can't plan these things Brendan.'

'I know. Come visit anytime eh?'

'Yeah...say goodbye to Declan for me yeh?'

'Sure.'

Another moment of silence fell among them as neither knew how to say goodbye. Is there a right or wrong way to say goodbye? Especially when they have both been through so much together?!

Ste broke the silence first as he extended a hand out to Brendan.

'I guess its goodbye then.' He said.

Brendan looked at Ste's hand for a second, hesitating before taking it and giving it a firm shake. 'Yeah I guess. Goodbye Steven.'

When their hands parted, Ste looked down as his hand, unsure what he was supposed to feel. Why was he upset? Why did it feel like a certain part of him had broken?

Brendan looked up at the one and only true love of his life and stared as his face trying to take a picture of it, capture this moment, possibly the last time he would see him. His duties of a dad would always overcome his feelings. And well, Steven was with Douglas now. It's not like he could have him anytime he wanted anyways.

Stepping back, Brendan waved a small goodbye and walked up the stairs to his apartment, trying desperately to hold back the slight hint of tears.

* * *

**4 months later. December 20th 2012**

Brendan stopped the car and sighed. Turning off the engine he put on his gloves, tied the scarf around his neck, put his hood up and stepped out of the car.

For once it was snowing around Christmas time in Hollyoaks. He looked around the village. It had been a while since he had been in Hollyoaks. After leaving to become a proper dad to Declan, he hadn't come back to visit once. True he was still a good brother and called to check in on Cheryl nearly every day but it just wasn't the same and since its nearly Christmas time, he wanted to spend some quality time with his sister.

Brendan's life had changed dramatically over the last 4 months. He had started another business, a nightclub/cafe/restaurant type place. He liked the diversity - people could come in for dinner, dance away the night and have some hungover breakfast in the morning. It worked.

He had also built back some bridges he had burnt with Declan. Declan had also steered back onto the right track and not saying he's a perfect kid but he's better. And as for Eileen, well she had a new man and Brendan at first protective, had grown to like him.

So much had changed in just a little over 4 months.

4 months, 16 weeks seemed like nothing but looking at the changes in Brendan's life, it was a lifetime.

Everything had changed so quickly. Some people called it rebound emotions, when you are so heartbroken about something, you throw all your energy into other things and pretend everything is alright.

But Brendan being the secretive man that he is, hid all those feelings away and tricked himself into believing that everything was alright. Everything was perfect. But maybe stepping back into Hollyoaks with all these old memories would bring up all the old emotions again?

Shrugging off that thought Brendan smiled and looked down at his gloves, the slightest hint of light reflecting off his finger as he adjusted the gold band fitted securely on his ring finger, a habit that had been with him for a month.

**Please review, tell me what you think and if you want me to continue! :) x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 :) Hope you enjoy!**

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Pulling his hood tighter shielding himself from the snow, he quickened his pace as he headed to Chez Chez. It was the day before Christmas Eve, usually the busiest night at the club. The one night everyone was out to celebrate before the family celebrations began the next day.

As he stepped into the club, he was hit with a wave of warmth and started taking his scarf off. Heading up to the upper level, he opened the door to the office.

'Miss me?' He said with a smirk as he watched his sister look up from the desk.

'Oh my god Brendan! What are you doing here?!' Cheryl said startled and full of excitement, getting up from behind the desk to give Brendan one of her bear hugs. 'I thought you were spending Christmas back in Dublin!'

'Oh, my feelings are hurt sis. I'll leave if you don't want me here.' Brendan replied sarcastically.

Hitting him on the shoulder playfully Cheryl replied with a laugh. 'You know what I mean! But it is so amazing to have you here. God knows I've missed you the past couple of months! It hasn't been the same without you!'

'Sis you talk as if I haven't talked to you in months. We talk almost everyday.' Brendan chuckled.

'Its not the same!' Cheryl said. 'Come on lets go home and celebrate! And we need to have a proper catch up!'

'Sounds good to me!' Brendan replied 'Do you need to just finish up here?' Brendan asked waving his hands pointing at the desk.

'Nah' Cheryl replied. 'I can do that another time! My big bro is back. That deserves a warm welcome and celebration!'

Leaving the office door, and walking across the club floor, Cheryl yelled back at Brendan clearly unable to hide her excitement to catch up until they got home.

'So lets see it! The ring!' Cheryl exclaimed

'Chez its just a ring you make it sound like a fucking national treasure.' Brendan laughed.

'Don't you be smart with me Brendan Brady. Now give your hand here.' Cheryl said grabbing Brendan's hand as they stepped outside onto the balcony of Chez Chez, the cold air hitting them.

They stood outside and stopped walking just for Cheryl to see the ring and inspect it. Knowing her she would want to know every single detail about what had happened, how it happened, who proposed, who bought the ring and whatever tiny little detail available.

'Wow...' Cheryl said amazed. 'I can't believe you're married. Brendan Brady, my brother. Married again.' Cheryl said with a huge grin but as she looked up her face dropped and she dropped Brendan's hand.

A small whisper was heard. 'What?'

Brendan turned around.

Staring at him was the one person he had hoped to avoid during this short visit. He had tried to plan himself for any awkward meetings that might happen but he did not expect this. He did not expect him to find out especially like this the most personal and massive change in his life. Not like this.

'Steven...hey...'

* * *

'You're married?' Ste asked, as if not able to accept the fact.

'Yeah...I...' Brendan was lost for words. 'Its good to see ye.'

'Yeah, you too.' Ste whispered.

Awkward glances were passed among the three until Ste managed to come up with a bitter sarcastic comment.  
'So I guess you have everything you ever wanted! A good relationship with your sister, your kids love you again and you've got the perfect wife at home.'

'Actually...' Brendan began.

'No..I don't want to hear it.' Ste cut Brendan off. 'It has nothing to do with me, none of my business. I'll just leave now.' Ste said as he began to turn around to walk away.

'His name's Kyle.' Brendan called out after Ste.

Ste stopped in his tracks. His lips started to tremble, his eyes fluttered, blinking in confusion as his heart dropped.

What?!

No, it can't be.

No, this was not happening.

Ste didn't know how to describe what he was feeling.

There were too many emotions in his head and heart right now.

Anger, frustration..._jealousy_.

Betrayal because Brendan had found someone else, someone else who completed him more than Ste ever could and who got the mighty Brendan Brady to marry him. When all Ste ever needed to feel complete was Brendan. He felt a tear slowly creep out of his left eye.

Ste slowly turned around to face Brendan. 'You mean...' He began.

'Yeah.' Brendan replied with a smile.

'I came out, no more hiding. You would like him. Kyle that is.' Brendan said.

'Well...I don't know what to say.' Ste said trying to compose himself.

'A congratulations would be great Steven!' Brendan laughed.

Ste felt the anger rise in him. That laugh...the way he says Steven. How could Brendan do this to him? Ste was angry. So angry.

Angry at the fact that Brendan seemed to so easily forget about him over these past 4 months.

Pushing aside these thoughts, Ste said to himself. Why do you care? You guys haven't been together for nearly a year and a half now. It was clearly over. He was stupid to think that it wasn't. To think that things with Brendan Brady would never have an ending. That he would never get closure.

Well he did. Ste finally got the closure he had so desperately wanted before.

Today was the day when he got the closure. The biggest closure anyone could possibly get! Brendan had moved on with someone else. And not just simply moved on. But he had married him.

Brendan had gone beyond any level he ever could with Ste.

Snapping out of it, Ste cleared his throat.

'I'm happy for you, I am. Erm so I'll see you around then.' Ste said quickly and within a second had rushed down the stairs running away from Chez Chez as quickly as possible. He needed to get out of there. He needed air but even though he was outside, no amount of fresh air seemed to be enough.

What the hell just happened? Ste thought to himself.

**please review and tell me what you think. Want me to continue it? **

**p.s. sorry if you wanted it to be Stendan that were married! x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Anyways here's the 3rd chapter. Unfortunately as I'm still deciding where to take this, not much happens in this chapter! But I hope you still enjoy and please read, review, follow, favourite :) x**

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_I don't understand...I just what?!_ Ste thought to himself as he stopped pacing around his flat for a second.

Brendan...The Brendan Brady..married, to a guy. No...

The same guy who had told him he would never forget him, the same guy who killed for him yet wouldn't be seen dead with him in public.

Ste's mind rambled off with all the possibilities of why Brendan had gotten married or so he said when Ste finally settled on the idea that this must be a plan, a trick to get Ste back.

Make Ste jealous and get Ste to show it then swoop in and take advantage of Ste when he's vulnerable. Works everytime so surely this was just another one of Brendan Brady's games?

Ste hated to admit it but who was he kidding? Whatever Brendan was playing at if he was, was affecting Ste. It had gotten to him.

Ste went to the bathroom and leaned over the sink, splashing his face with water as he tried to shrug off the thoughts of Brendan.

It had been around 4 months since they had seen each other. And it wasn't that Ste didn't value Doug but Brendan being completely out of his life for the first time in 2 years had seemed strange to say the least.

Ste and Brendan had become so addicted to each other's love that even when they weren't a part of each other's life, somehow they were.

And this definitely was not a good thing.

Not for either of them.

Because they couldn't be together back then, they can't now and whatever that love was that they had, if they went down that road...it would kill them both.

Even if not physically, emotionally and that kind of pain was the worse of all. Worse than any physical pain.

Ste slowly walked over to his bedroom and slowly climbed into bed curling himself up as he pulled the covers over himself.

He just wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep and forget everything just for a couple of hours.

He shouldn't feel this anger, feel this jealousy.

After all, him and Brendan had been done over a year ago.

In fact, he had been the one to end it! He had been the one to move on first and he was happy with Doug.

He was happier with Doug than he ever had with Brendan.

But you couldn't compare those two relationships.

His 'relationship' with Brendan wasn't filled with happiness. Majority of it had fear, doubt and anger in it. The only thing that kept it going was the excitement of it all. The desire that just seemed to overcome Ste. But no Ste was never 'happy'. Not like now with Doug.

_So why are you feeling all these emotions?_ Ste thought to himself as he couldn't keep the thoughts away from his mind long enough to fall asleep.

Ste knew the answer was simple. He knew why he was so angry at Brendan. He just didn't want to admit it to himself.

As a single tear fell, Ste curled up tighter, wrapping his own arms around his chest and as the rise and fall of his chest slowed and his breath steadied, Ste fell asleep.

* * *

Brendan sat on the couch, empty whisky glass in one hand. Cheryl was busying herself, clearing up and cleaning the dishes after having prepared Brendan a welcome home dinner.

As Cheryl finished up, she quietly came and sat down next to Brendan. Her excited energy from early on had clearly died down as she looked at Brendan.

'So I guess you didn't tell him then?' Brendan asked as he looked to Cheryl.

'It wasn't my place to especially after all the history between you two.' Cheryl replied. 'To be honest with ye, I was shocked when told me you were married! I know how much Ste meant to you.'

'Tsk' Brendan sighed as he sat up from the couch and leaned forward, head in his hands. 'There was nothing going on between me and Steven for a long time before I left.'

'Still...he was a big part of your life after all.' Cheryl said. 'I think you should go talk to him about it, maybe explain? He seemed...hurt?'

'Hurt?' Brendan laughed. 'He seemed fine to me. Plus why do I owe him an explanation? We've got seperate lives now Chez, he doesn't need to know why I do what I do.'

'I just think that you guys should talk it out. You will always mean something to each other. No matter how much time has passed. And I know you Brendan. Don't tell me you're completely over Ste.' Cheryl replied back.

'Just leave it Chez alright?! I'm only here for a couple of days anyways. I'll be gone in no time.' Brendan replied as he got up and headed for his room.

As Brendan closed the door behind him, he sat down on his bed and swiped his hand across the duvet as he lay down.

This room brought back memories. Memories he couldn't replace with Kyle. Memories that were saved only for one person.

Brendan flashed back to a moment :

'_Give us a kiss' __Brendan had said as he grinned stupidly at Steven. And as Ste had leaned over and given Brendan a small peck, Brendan had felt his grin widen as he nodded in approval.'_

It had been so out of character for Brendan. He didn't even know why he had down that. It was just a spur of the moment thing. And Brendan felt satisfied afterwards as if he had almost broken out of a shell, come out from hiding behind his facade.

_But I'm completely out of that shell now no? I'm married. Its all good. I don't need him in my life anymore. I've got Kyle. He's good. He's controllable. He's safe. _Brendan thought to himself.

But he couldn't keep a small question popping into his head. '_But is he enough?_'

As Brendan lay in his bed thinking over how different his life was now compared to the last time he had been in this room, he heard 3 loud bangs on the door.

WTF? He thought to himself. When the bangs failed to continue, he decided it was probably just some random drunk who had happened to knock on the door. Teenagers these days...couldn't hold a damn drink.

But several moments later when the banging resumed and failed to stop this time, Brendan quickly scrambled up from his bed as a scowl overtook his face and he strode over to the door.

'Who the fuck do you think you are?! Jesus did you want to wake the entire neighbourhood?' Brendan shouted as he opened the door and stared at the victim to his outburst.

* * *

Ste turned over in his bed, he had probably only managed around 20 minutes sleep before somehow waking up naturally.

Ste didn't know what to do. Only one thing came to mind and as he picked up his phone he sat up from his bed.

_To : Doug_

_Hey you still up? Can't sleep. Can think of some much better ways to pass the time ;) x S_

__Ste hit sent and rubbed his hands on his face, trying to wake himself up more and within a few seconds his phone buzzed.

_From : Doug_

_Doors open. I'll be waiting ;) x D_

__Ste smiled as he quickly got dressed, just throwing on a t shirt and jeans. Who said Doug and his relationship was boring and in a routine? This was spontaneous no? Yet contradicting his thoughts, asking Doug for permission instead of turning up seemed planned.

Ste let himself out quietly so not to disturb anyone and headed towards Doug's flat.

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**Hope you enjoyed and please review, follow, favourite whatever you like! x**


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